shh it’s supposed to be 30 days but I’m going to do it all in one night. yes.
30 day: Self Harm Challenge
1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
Oh jesus. Two years or so? I don’t even know anymore. It’s a long story.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
My left wrist/arm and both legs.
3. What is your motivation to recover?
Knowing that Katy would be crushed it she knew I hurt myself on purpose.
4. Do you consider yourself “addicted”? why or why not?
I’ve considered myself addicted for a long time. Because I can look at anything and think of a way I could use it to hurt myself. Half of the time I don’t but I still think.
5. What part of self harm do you dislike the most?
The part where I know that I did this to myself. The fact that I have the nerve to put shit to my skin and cut it. oi. I also hate that failure feeling you get some of the nights you do it.
6. What about it do you enjoy?
That release you get when you’re done, it makes you feel so much better. It makes you feel like you can control one thing in your life.
7. list 10 activities that help you calm down.
- Listening to Katy.
- Watching anything Katy related
- Burlesque soundtrack
- Venting by writing.
- Talking to my amazing friends on tumblr. MoMo, Tiyana, Erika, Dom, Tina exc.
- Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. SNL.
- Sarah.
- sitting in the dark with music blasting
- Jessie J.
- movies. Private Practice, Grey’s Anatomy.
8. What the most supportive thing anyone has said to you about self harm?
I don’t even know. I don’t really talk to anyone about it.
9. Have you ever taken pictures of your wounds? Discuss.
I have, I have posted them on my vent blog.
10. How do you feel about your scars?
I love them. They make me feel strong, like I can get through anything.
11. Strangest place (school, park, etc) you’ve ever injured yourself?
Friends house. School.
12. Where do you keep your ‘tools’? (Your room, in a box, disposed of them?)
My room.
13. What is the biggest realization about self harm you’ve had?
I didn’t realize how addicting it really was until I noticed I couldn’t stop.
14. Is there anyone you consider to be an inspiration in your recovery?
Katy. Jessie. Kate. Caterina. My nana.
15. Do you visit any websites about self harm? If so, what are they?
Tumblr blogs.
16. What advice would you give to someone about self harm?
Please don’t do it, I don’t want you to end up addicted and having your life revolve around it.
17. Do you know anyone else who injures themselves?
Yes I do. Many actually.
18. Write a letter to the future (recovered) you.
Dear Kaila,
I am so proud of you for pulling through what you were going through and being strong. I’m proud of you for making it. I always knew deep down you could do it because you are not a fragile person, you are strong and this shows you that you are strong. See I told you that you could live your life without having to rely on self hard to get you through the day. I can’t explain how proud of you I am and I promise I’ll never go back to who I was.
I love you and am so proud.
Love Kaila
19. List 5 reasons that recovery is worth it.
-
- So I can wear short sleeve shirts.
- I can go a day without thinking of self harm.
20. What is the most vivid memory you have of self harm.
I remember one night I was so angry at myself, I was home alone and I sat in the bathtub with the shower running and screamed and didn’t give a fuck. and hurt my wrist.
21. Have you tried to stop in the past? What are you doing differently this time?
Yeah, I went like two months or a month and a half then relapsed like two weeks ago.
22. Where do you feel the most calm?
I never feel calm. Just numb.
23. What is your favorite inspirational quote?
I know it’s not really an ‘inspirational quote’ but “you don’t have to feel like a wasted space, you’re original can not be replaced” those words mean so much to me. you have no idea.
24. What are some of your main triggers? Why?
Pictures, thoughts, talking about it. A lot triggers me actually.
25. Do you know any statistics about self harm?
I don’t even know what statistics means.
26. What is something that makes you the most happy?
Katheryn Elizabeth. SNL cast. PP cast. Grey’s cast. my nana. Jensen.
27. Discuss any and all progress you have made.
Progress sucks because it always goes away.
28. What short-term goals do you have?
- to go a week without self harm. So far I’m almost twenty-four hours.
- Get over the shit that’s going on.
- stop being a jealous bitch.
29. Do you follow any self-harm blogs?
Tons. I have a self harm blog.
30. Post your favorite picture of yourself and write a positive message to look back on.
lol no.
untouchedpeacock liked this
katyperryismydrug posted this
